I CAN have the BEST!.....I'm worth it!

As I drove home from 5AM prayer this morning, I focused in on the raindrops dancing across my windshield. I reflected on the crisp, breeze that hit my face as I walked to the car and I said to myself......its here! Boo season, cuddle season, snuggle up under the covers with your man and watch a movie season is here!!!!....Aaahhh! This is one of the many times of year that I can count on my environment to test my strength. Will I give in to the urge, the desire I have to cuddle with somebody or will I stay the course and remember that I am sacrificing now for something better later?....Hmmmm.....let's see? I think I'll wait. Ive been through this season before and I know that the rain will go away, the crisp days will soon be filled with sunlight and warmth, and I don't want to make a decision that I'll soon regret!! Ive waited all this time..........surely not to waste it on becoming involved in an emotional roller coaster of unfulfilled hopes and expectations because I want to cuddle!~ Girl, please.....Asheia....get it together! If you're cold, grab a blanket, and warm apple cider and call it a night!

Seriously, I know that there are so many women like me that are affectionate and long to be loved. But we are loved! We're loved by God, and we love ourselves......that's why we're waiting! Waiting for the best! And everyone deserves the best! Please don't allow the doom and gloom of rain clouds, and trees without leaves to cause you to doubt your self-worth! I don't care if you have 5 children, you've been divorced twice, you're overweight, have acne, and get paid minimum wage..........there is greatness inside of you! And there is a master plan, even for your life! .....Wait for the best, and yes you ARE worth the wait! Enjoy your life! Make the best of it! Smile!

Besides, you're not waiting alone!....I am walking with you.....every day, every decision, every moment I too am resisting all the temptations around me, and choosing to wait for Stratford!

Check out this YouTube video, and please.....dont be fooled by cuddle season!!
 Dont Be Fooled by Cuddle season video on YouTube

Taking the Limits off!!

 OMG !!!!! Today, I read an article in the Washington Post of a real-life Cinderella story of love. You know, the type of story that every girl dreams of.......Prince Charming coming to sweep her off her feet, Mr. Fine As Wine, has his stuff together kind of love. What particularly caught my attention is that the bride, Dr. Lindsay Marsh is a fellow abstinence advocate and has dedicated her life to teaching purity. Surely, her standard for a mate MUST be extremely high, right? Not only is she a successful anesthesiologist, but she's a 34 year old virgin!!

As I kept reading, I realized that her husband turned out to be NOTHING like what so many people had "pegged" as her future mate.  Yes, she maintained her standard of purity during their relationship but she was very open and willing to talk to Gareth, though only 6 months before they met he was NOTHING like she would've imagined. Not only was he not a virgin but he was admittedly promiscuous.

   Am I putting God in a box? Is the man that I've imagined for myself only a figment of my imagination compared to whom God really has planned for me? Am I living in "la-la land?" If I continue with my list of qualifications and requests, could I possibly completely miss the man that was created for me? Surely, I shouldn't just settle for the next guy that comes along..............how do I do this? Where do I find balance?

      One step at a time, one day at a time.......I am choosing to surrender my will, and pickup God's divine will for my life!.......I am taking off all the limits!....Yes, I still have a standard but I am deciding to be open and willing to receive what is ultimately for me! I trust that though Stratford may not be exactly what I originally thought, I know that he will be perfect for me!....................No longer thinking only inside the box!

I like so many other single women, doing it big, holding it down, have often defended my stance when Ive heard people suggest that I'm being "too picky, too choosy, impossible to please."  But after reading this amazing story, I am having a change of heart. I am not saying that we as women should not have preferences, and establish certain standards that display our confidence. Yes, it is so important that we understand our value. We must know our worth. But let's stay open-minded, make some of the items on our lists a little more flexible, and embrace the BEST choice for us.........understanding that our king may come wrapped in a package that looks a little different than we expected!

 

Click on this link to read Gareth and Lindsay's amazing story!

The wedding that motivated me to take the limits off--Gareth Warren and Dr. Lindsay Marsh

Expanding my mind as I patiently wait for Stratford!

Improving my self-portrait

What type of man am I capable of attracting, I ask myself. Well, that depends on my self-image. Yesterday during my commute to work I pondered and meditated on the thought that people see me the way that I see myself. Honestly, I cant expect to be seen as a giant if I see myself as a grasshopper. In the same manner, I cant expect my husband to see me as confident, poised, sophisticated, beautiful, and kind if I see myself as weak, unattractive, lonely and frustrated with life.( I don't, but I'm just saying...) Taking a look back to my past relationship decisions, I remember when I dated an abuser.......that relationship ended (thank God!) but years down the line, I started talking to another guy who had the potential to be an abuser!! I saw all the warning signs and got out of there quick! But I had to ask myself....what's inside of me that's attracting this same type of guy?!?!.....It was my grasshopper mentality! I realized that behind my smiling face, cheerful voice, and mask of confidence was a weak, vulnerable person that was looking for a man to bring validation my life.........and men could see that. And they came to take advantage of what I was offering....a weak spirit. Though I'm far from being that weak-minded girl I was years ago, I can still improve my self- image......WE ALL CAN!!!!  So I encourage you to join me in taking it up a notch in the way we see ourselves!......We must be the change that we're looking for!.....If we're overweight ( let's do something about it!), shy( let's do something about it!), don't like your skin texture, hair, whatever it is......(do something about it!).......You're beautiful. I give you full permission today to examine your heart, look at your life....take note of how you see yourself, and work on changing your self-image understanding that people will ONLY see you, based on how you see yourself!

Brightening my corner by improving the way I see myself!

What are you advertising?? Part 1

It absolutely amazes me when I hear singles, especially women, talk about how hurt they feel that a particular person is only interested in them for sex or whatever "physical" needs they have, when in fact "I'll make all your fantasies come true" is what was advertised.  Let me explain. People see us before they hear us, talk with us, or get to know us at all. Our appearance automatically tells the world what we're selling.....whether your product be confidence, peace, joy, or sex, your attire and demeanor will sell just that, regardless to what you may be saying with your mouth.  Let me break it down further.......if we choose to dress barely clothed (nice way of saying half-naked), cut low up top and cut high down below and show as much skin as we can because we think its sexy..........that's what we're selling....sex.  So then we must expect the person we're communicating with to buy that message.....sex, and expect us to follow through with what we advertised, right?...........How upsetting would it be to go to a store that advertised a particular item expecting to get that item, only to find out that the store had no intentions of allowing you to purchase what was advertised.  We would get angry, want to sue the company for false advertisement, and tell everyone we knew to not do business with that particular company.  If they had no intentions of selling that item, they shouldn't have advertised is right?  The same with us........we must wake up and see that if we notice a pattern of "men only being interested in our bodies or wanting sexual favors from us", what are we selling? What are we advertising?  People will only buy what YOU sell!......The next time someone approaches you attempting to buy something that you had NO intentions of selling.....check your advertisement.


Patiently Waiting & Advertising the Truth

Dig deeper and AVOID heartbreak!

The other day I was talking with my friend, discussing past relationships--what went wrong, what was right, and everything in between. Specifically, I recalled a relationship that I'd been involved in with this guy.  We hadn't been friends for long before we dove head first into a relationship. It was practically "love at first sight" for both of us. He was such a gentleman, and I was head over heels.......wooed like never before. Not only did his voice give me butterflies and his smile send chills down my spine, but we had intense conversations, and the time that we spent together seemed to be so "deep, so mentally stimulating." I just knew that I wanted to be with this guy forever. Well, there was no fairy tale ending. Our relationship ended, and soon after the blinders came off of my eyes, I began to see things about him that I'd never seen before.  Who was he? Who is he?......Crazily enough, this man seemed NOTHING like the person that I'd spent SO much time with before.  Why does this happen? Why are we able to see things so clearly in retrospect?.......Was I crazy before? Had he really changed that much in such a short time, or was the man that I was now seeing the person that existed the entire time? Could this sort of thing be avoided? These were all questions that I asked myself. And then suddenly it dawned on me..........I was so busy "building a relationship" on all of the wrong things that I failed to really get to know who this guy was.  The man that I was once willing to spend my life with, turned out to be someone that I didn't know at all. How could this happen? Simple, like so many others I was focused on "how he made me feel", what he looked like, the sweet nothings that he whispered in my ear, and all of the empty promises that he made me about our "future together." But what about his CHARACTER, MORAL CODE, ETHICS? Did he even have the foundation necessary to assure me of this amazing future that he promised I would have? So, I'll ask you.....Why are we in such a hurry to start relationships?   Is not a long-lasting successful relationship built on friendship? Then, why not take the time in the beginning to cultivate that friendship. I strongly encourage you to get to know your potential mate's friends. See who they are in their own environment.  I like to put it this way......"I could care less who you are in candlelight over a romantic dinner. Its the man that picked me up and the one that dropped me off that I really need to see."  How do they  respond to others?.....These are all questions that WE MUST ASK. We owe it to ourselves to KNOW people before we enter into relationships. The more we know up front.....the less heartache we'll have later.

Waiting for Stratford & Learning to Dig deep

Willing to Fight

Yesterday at work, I had a patient that needed me to "go to bat" for her with her doctor's office because she was being mistreated. As I talked to her, tears began to well up in my eyes and I became so angry inside because of her situation. Something inside of me rose up, and I was in!....Willing to go to war on this lady's behalf. I contacted her doctor's office and fought for her justice. We got the whole thing straightened out, and she was so grateful!
Oftentimes, we are in a position to really be the miracle that someone else needs and yet we are not willing to step outside of our comfort zone to lend a helping hand. Whether in prayer or in deed there are people, including our husbands/wives, looking for us to "go to war" on their behalf.  As a single person, I hear other singles all the time talk about how they are "waiting on their husbands or looking for their wives" because they are ready to be HELPED. They are ready for somebody to start paying their bills, cooking their meals, etc.  My question is........what will you contribute? Are you ready and willing to fight on behalf of the other person? Are you willing to fight for the marriage/the relationship when things go wrong?  I understand that as a wife, I must "go to war" in prayer and in deed on my husbands' behalf.....lifting him up, strengthening him, keeping him encouraged. And I am SOO willing to do that. He NEEDS me to do that! But how can I fight if Ive never sharpened my weapons? How can I be expected to fight behind closed doors, in private, if I walk away from opportunities to help others, in public, on a daily basis!
Let's take our minds off of needing a miracle from someone, and shift to BEING a miracle FOR someone. Yes, I'm willing to fight......and I'm sharpening my weapons as I wait to be found.......but I ask , how willing are you?

Who Is Stratford?

I can already hear you saying, "Who is Stratford, and why in the world are you waiting for him?" It is so interesting to me that just two years ago, I'd never even heard of the name Stratford and today it is a word that I use in everyday conversation. Well, who is he? Where is he from? What does he do? Why is he so significant? So many questions, and so few answers because Stratford is someone who I've never met, and yet I feel as though Ive known him my entire life. The confidence of his existence lies deep within my heart, and it brings a fuel that drives me to make different choices, create new habits, forget past mistakes, and press forward. Although we've never met, his presence is SO REAL to me, and I know that he's thinking of me. I'm praying for him and he's praying for me. I get so excited at the thought of finally getting to see with my eyes what Ive always known in my heart. Ive waited for him my entire life! Not only have I waited with my heart, but Ive waited with my mind, Ive waited with my body! Ive saved my most precious gift, my virginity, just for him. No, it hasn't been easy, and yes temptation lies around every corner but when we meet I want to give him a gift that no other man has had.....all of me. I am choosing to say no to something now, to say yes to something better later. Please join me on my journey as I share with you my day-to-day struggles, triumphs, thoughts and views regarding love, sex, and relationships as I patiently wait for my husband, Stratford.

My love letter to him:

To My Loving Future Husband,
Honey, I already love you unconditionally!!! I am so grateful that God will bring us together, and it will be in the perfect way and in the perfect timing. I think of you often and pray for you all the time. I know that through my prayers you always have the wisdom needed to make the right decisions in every area of your life, including your interactions with other women.  I trust you wholeheartedly to make the right choice, the pure choice.  I am so excited at the opportunity to give you my precious gift one day.  I have had many opportunities to make a different choice, but I always kept you in mind. It makes me feel so good to know that I can give you ALL of me—mind, soul, and body—in the protection of our covenant.  I have been saving myself my entire life for you—and there is no one more deserving than you to experience all of me—even my vulnerabilities.  I know that being with you sexually will be a new experience for me, but I have no fear because I trust you completely.  I’m so happy to give myself completely to you. Thank you so much for being the man that you are—and allowing yourself to be stretched and molded into just what I need. I too, am being shaped and conformed into your perfect puzzle piece.  You can trust me with your vision, desires, and secrets.  I was made to cover even the weakest parts of you………………..Until we meet, know that I’m always covering you in prayer and I’ve always got your back!!!!..........I love you forever!
The woman of your dreams!

Asheia-Patiently Waiting