Date, Date, Date To Find Your Mate!!!!??!

Hmmm......is dating REALLY the CURE for singleness? Afterall, singleness is a disease right? Or is that just the way that so many people treat this time of cultivation, transformation, confidence building, and maturing? Earlier this week I watched a highly accomplished psychologist who specialized in relationships say that his best advice for a single person looking to be married was to date, date, date and then date more. "Its a numbers game, he said." He went on to say, "the person who goes on the most dates, wins!" Hmmm......do I agree with this thinking.....no! On the contrary, I think that the problem for so many single people is that they have adapted this philosophy.  We all know people that spend so much time going in and out of relationships, only to still be empty inside. Instead of moving closer to marriage,  this "practicing divorce behavior" caused them to get further away from their intended goal. When each relationship ended, they retreated in depression or aggressively looked for another substitute to try to heal the wounds left by the previous offender.
Don't misunderstand my intentions. I do believe that dating, and even more courtship have their place, but EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS NOT READY TO DATE.  In addition to a dating period, there must also be a "sit down, and figure out who you are" period.  If someone has not discovered their personal likes, dislikes, purpose, etc. BEFORE they start dating, this is a recipe for disaster.  Besides, when you have the rest of your life to be connected with someone why not take this short time to develop into your BEST single self?!

Im just sayin......I like so many other single people do desire to one day be married. However, I am not willing to compromise my happiness in order just date, date, date recklessly.  I am now at a point where I could date someone confidently because my heart has completely healed of past hurts. But there was a time when practicing the date, date, date, and date more lifestyle would have been both detrimental to me and each man I dated.

We must know US, before we can know others!

Patiently Waiting and Making Wise Choices!

I Need A Husband to Help Plunge My Toilet!!!!

I overheard the funniest conversation at work recently! There was an issue with the toilet and one of our young female employees beckoned one of the guys to plunge it for her. He went on to say, that he would gladly show her HOW to plunge a toilet for future reference. Her response..........."I don't need to know how to plunge toilets. That's why I'm getting married. My husband will do that stuff for me!" WOW! What an enormous statement! We all laughed at her hilarious response. However, it caused me to think much deeper. Although, this is a lighthearted example I think it accurately represents the mindset of so many women waiting on "their husbands" before they can learn something, do something, buy something, build something.....enjoy life! Of course, as a single woman I am excitedly waiting for the day that I'll be able to share experiences with my husband. However, it is not fair to me or him for me to WAIT until he comes before I can start enjoying my life!

Besides, is this not bringing "baggage into the relationship?" Oftentimes, "baggage" as it relates to relationships is often referred to the emotional baggage of past hurts, disappointments, and mistakes. However, I am starting to think that entering a relationship with the mindset of the other person rescuing you in a particular area is in every way bringing baggage and laying it at the feet of the other person. We must live our best life NOW!!! I, as a single should be thinking......"What will I bring to his life? How can I make him better? How will I be able to add? What can I be doing now to be a greater asset to him?" To start thinking selfishly before the relationship ever starts is a recipe for disappointment later........ (Besides, if I have a toilet that needs to be plunged......I cant wait around for my husband to get here. I need it plunged NOW! :-))

Patiently Waiting and Destroying A "Baggage" Mindset!