Dig deeper and AVOID heartbreak!

The other day I was talking with my friend, discussing past relationships--what went wrong, what was right, and everything in between. Specifically, I recalled a relationship that I'd been involved in with this guy.  We hadn't been friends for long before we dove head first into a relationship. It was practically "love at first sight" for both of us. He was such a gentleman, and I was head over heels.......wooed like never before. Not only did his voice give me butterflies and his smile send chills down my spine, but we had intense conversations, and the time that we spent together seemed to be so "deep, so mentally stimulating." I just knew that I wanted to be with this guy forever. Well, there was no fairy tale ending. Our relationship ended, and soon after the blinders came off of my eyes, I began to see things about him that I'd never seen before.  Who was he? Who is he?......Crazily enough, this man seemed NOTHING like the person that I'd spent SO much time with before.  Why does this happen? Why are we able to see things so clearly in retrospect?.......Was I crazy before? Had he really changed that much in such a short time, or was the man that I was now seeing the person that existed the entire time? Could this sort of thing be avoided? These were all questions that I asked myself. And then suddenly it dawned on me..........I was so busy "building a relationship" on all of the wrong things that I failed to really get to know who this guy was.  The man that I was once willing to spend my life with, turned out to be someone that I didn't know at all. How could this happen? Simple, like so many others I was focused on "how he made me feel", what he looked like, the sweet nothings that he whispered in my ear, and all of the empty promises that he made me about our "future together." But what about his CHARACTER, MORAL CODE, ETHICS? Did he even have the foundation necessary to assure me of this amazing future that he promised I would have? So, I'll ask you.....Why are we in such a hurry to start relationships?   Is not a long-lasting successful relationship built on friendship? Then, why not take the time in the beginning to cultivate that friendship. I strongly encourage you to get to know your potential mate's friends. See who they are in their own environment.  I like to put it this way......"I could care less who you are in candlelight over a romantic dinner. Its the man that picked me up and the one that dropped me off that I really need to see."  How do they  respond to others?.....These are all questions that WE MUST ASK. We owe it to ourselves to KNOW people before we enter into relationships. The more we know up front.....the less heartache we'll have later.

Waiting for Stratford & Learning to Dig deep