So many times we hear the NEGATIVES to being single (No one to go to the movies with, no Valentine's Day gifts, etc.) but I thought it would be quite encouraging to list some of the benefits to being single. After all, I don't think that being single is ALL THAT BAD! It definitely has its PERKS. Besides, these days it is FAR MORE COMMON for single people get married and then wish they were single again, rather than the other way around. Isn't it quite funny that the very state of being that sooooo many people RUSH to leave, knowing that marriage will finally make them happy, magically turns into a place of freedom and relief once their haste-turned-waste marriage relationship is FINALLY over?!?!? (We all know those people who were consumed with the idea of getting married, and now that they are divorced are SO EXCITED TO FINALLY BE FREE!)........But oh, if we could just learn to enjoy the benefits of SINGLENESS upfront rather than in retrospect maybe we would be willing to REMAIN SINGLE long enough to evaluate new relationships more carefully and enter into unions that last.
1. The freedom to do WHATEVER you want!!! (when, where, AND how YOU WANT)
I have been so blessed to be surrounded by married friends for well over 10 years. Trust that I am taking notes!!! Seeing them truly makes me look forward to being married, but guess what? One of the consistent sacrifices that I've seen is the freedom for them to do whatever they want to do without someone else being okay with it. Lets be real! When you commit your life to another person, EVERY decision that you make from that point forward directly or indirectly affects the person whom you married. Because of that, the courteous thing is to fill them in on what you're doing. You dont have to give EVERY DETAIL! (Im sure your future spouse will be okay without you ANNOUNCING each time you go to the bathroom) #ImJustSaying However, Bottom line.........Im GLAD I dont have to "CHECK IN." The only things I DONT DO..PLACES I DONT GO.....MONEY I DONT SPEND.......are because I decided it was not best for me!
2. Time freedom to serve others!
Singleness is the only time in your life where you are free to truly give and minister to the needs of others outside of your home, and can make that a TRUE PRIORITY. Once you become married, your first responsibility is to meet the needs of those INSIDE of your home. AFTER they have been taken care of, THEN you can save the world, feed all the children of the earth, and clothe the nation. When you're single, you can truly enjoy the spontaneity that comes with being available to go when and where you are needed. This is an enormous benefit of single life, that I think we as singles often overlook. Singledom, is such a precious time that can be beautiful if utilized properly! So get off the couch! Stop feeling sorry for yourself....and get caught up in helping others. Volunteer, join community organizations, create a program for youth, widows, or the elderly and utilize your time to make the lives of other people more enjoyable. In return, yours will become more delightful as well.
3. Opportunity to SAVE MONEY!
I cant begin to tell you the number of married people (especially men) that have expressed how they REALLY wish they would've SAVED MORE MONEY during those single years! Quite honestly, many of them have said that they didn't even REALIZE they were BROKE until they GOT MARRIED!!! During their single years, they were actually doing pretty well for themselves, or so they thought! But how things changed when all of a sudden there were 2 mouths to feeds and 2 bodies to clothe. What once looked like OVER FLOW, now was BARELY FLOWING AT ALL! When the river is flowing and you're the only one in the boat...........SAVE as much WATER as you can!....You'll need it later!
4. Chance to discover YOURSELF!
How many times in life do we get to hear our own voice, see the world through our own eyes and discover what we do or don't like for ourselves?!?! Don't be so eager to see who you are through another person's eyes. Each one of us has specific things that make us unique. Unfortunately, so many of us spend this time being tossed to and fro, in and out of relationships, adjusting and changing ourselves to please whomever we happen to be with at the moment that we never truly discover who we are!! There are things that I know about myself today, that I had no clue about last year or the year before and quite honestly if I was "boo-ed up" or "locked down" right now, I still may never know. Enjoy this time to truly find yourself rather than spending so much energy looking for someone else. When the person of your dreams does come along, they want someone who KNOWS WHO THEY ARE! Don't sell yourself OR them short by missing out on the opportunity to discover your strengths, weaknesses, favorite and most distasteful things! You are worth DISCOVERING!
5. Opportunity to FOCUS on your purpose RELENTLESSLY!
Why are you here??? For what SPECIFIC purpose were you CREATED? What PROBLEM are you on Earth to SOLVE?!? What is the ONE THING that YOU can do like no one else can???? If you don't know the answer to those questions.....therein lies how you should focus your time and energy--seeking out the answers! If you DO know the answers to those questions.....then GET TO IT! You have a problem to solve, and quite frankly it wont get solved in between the tears of your" Im still single" pity party! There are people with REAL ISSUES, SERIOUS QUESTIONS, that need REAL SOLUTIONS and PRACTICAL ANSWERS! They are waiting for YOU !!! Once you discover your life's purpose, that thing that will bring all the puzzle pieces of your life together, and cause every victory, mistake, disappointment, and triumph to make sense.....you will want to GO FULL SPEED AHEAD pursuing that purpose with everything that lies within you!!! And what better time to do IT than NOW....while you're single! GET ER DONE!!!! HOP TO IT!
I hope that this short list of PROS outweigh the CONS that have consumed your time and energy. I'll be honest, the CONS do exist but much too often the negatives of being single (especially the ones that keep running through our minds over and over-like not having someone to cuddle with on a Friday night) are so small, so minor, so minute compared to the PROs in which we could be taking FULL ADVANTAGE! These are LIFE ALTERING ADVANTAGES both for YOU and the entire WORLD that's waiting for you to SHAKE YOURSELF OFF and get to MAKING AN IMPACT!....So GET TO IT!
I love you precious WAITERS!
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