What are you advertising?? Part 1

It absolutely amazes me when I hear singles, especially women, talk about how hurt they feel that a particular person is only interested in them for sex or whatever "physical" needs they have, when in fact "I'll make all your fantasies come true" is what was advertised.  Let me explain. People see us before they hear us, talk with us, or get to know us at all. Our appearance automatically tells the world what we're selling.....whether your product be confidence, peace, joy, or sex, your attire and demeanor will sell just that, regardless to what you may be saying with your mouth.  Let me break it down further.......if we choose to dress barely clothed (nice way of saying half-naked), cut low up top and cut high down below and show as much skin as we can because we think its sexy..........that's what we're selling....sex.  So then we must expect the person we're communicating with to buy that message.....sex, and expect us to follow through with what we advertised, right?...........How upsetting would it be to go to a store that advertised a particular item expecting to get that item, only to find out that the store had no intentions of allowing you to purchase what was advertised.  We would get angry, want to sue the company for false advertisement, and tell everyone we knew to not do business with that particular company.  If they had no intentions of selling that item, they shouldn't have advertised is right?  The same with us........we must wake up and see that if we notice a pattern of "men only being interested in our bodies or wanting sexual favors from us", what are we selling? What are we advertising?  People will only buy what YOU sell!......The next time someone approaches you attempting to buy something that you had NO intentions of selling.....check your advertisement.


Patiently Waiting & Advertising the Truth

Dig deeper and AVOID heartbreak!

The other day I was talking with my friend, discussing past relationships--what went wrong, what was right, and everything in between. Specifically, I recalled a relationship that I'd been involved in with this guy.  We hadn't been friends for long before we dove head first into a relationship. It was practically "love at first sight" for both of us. He was such a gentleman, and I was head over heels.......wooed like never before. Not only did his voice give me butterflies and his smile send chills down my spine, but we had intense conversations, and the time that we spent together seemed to be so "deep, so mentally stimulating." I just knew that I wanted to be with this guy forever. Well, there was no fairy tale ending. Our relationship ended, and soon after the blinders came off of my eyes, I began to see things about him that I'd never seen before.  Who was he? Who is he?......Crazily enough, this man seemed NOTHING like the person that I'd spent SO much time with before.  Why does this happen? Why are we able to see things so clearly in retrospect?.......Was I crazy before? Had he really changed that much in such a short time, or was the man that I was now seeing the person that existed the entire time? Could this sort of thing be avoided? These were all questions that I asked myself. And then suddenly it dawned on me..........I was so busy "building a relationship" on all of the wrong things that I failed to really get to know who this guy was.  The man that I was once willing to spend my life with, turned out to be someone that I didn't know at all. How could this happen? Simple, like so many others I was focused on "how he made me feel", what he looked like, the sweet nothings that he whispered in my ear, and all of the empty promises that he made me about our "future together." But what about his CHARACTER, MORAL CODE, ETHICS? Did he even have the foundation necessary to assure me of this amazing future that he promised I would have? So, I'll ask you.....Why are we in such a hurry to start relationships?   Is not a long-lasting successful relationship built on friendship? Then, why not take the time in the beginning to cultivate that friendship. I strongly encourage you to get to know your potential mate's friends. See who they are in their own environment.  I like to put it this way......"I could care less who you are in candlelight over a romantic dinner. Its the man that picked me up and the one that dropped me off that I really need to see."  How do they  respond to others?.....These are all questions that WE MUST ASK. We owe it to ourselves to KNOW people before we enter into relationships. The more we know up front.....the less heartache we'll have later.

Waiting for Stratford & Learning to Dig deep

Willing to Fight

Yesterday at work, I had a patient that needed me to "go to bat" for her with her doctor's office because she was being mistreated. As I talked to her, tears began to well up in my eyes and I became so angry inside because of her situation. Something inside of me rose up, and I was in!....Willing to go to war on this lady's behalf. I contacted her doctor's office and fought for her justice. We got the whole thing straightened out, and she was so grateful!
Oftentimes, we are in a position to really be the miracle that someone else needs and yet we are not willing to step outside of our comfort zone to lend a helping hand. Whether in prayer or in deed there are people, including our husbands/wives, looking for us to "go to war" on their behalf.  As a single person, I hear other singles all the time talk about how they are "waiting on their husbands or looking for their wives" because they are ready to be HELPED. They are ready for somebody to start paying their bills, cooking their meals, etc.  My question is........what will you contribute? Are you ready and willing to fight on behalf of the other person? Are you willing to fight for the marriage/the relationship when things go wrong?  I understand that as a wife, I must "go to war" in prayer and in deed on my husbands' behalf.....lifting him up, strengthening him, keeping him encouraged. And I am SOO willing to do that. He NEEDS me to do that! But how can I fight if Ive never sharpened my weapons? How can I be expected to fight behind closed doors, in private, if I walk away from opportunities to help others, in public, on a daily basis!
Let's take our minds off of needing a miracle from someone, and shift to BEING a miracle FOR someone. Yes, I'm willing to fight......and I'm sharpening my weapons as I wait to be found.......but I ask , how willing are you?

Who Is Stratford?

I can already hear you saying, "Who is Stratford, and why in the world are you waiting for him?" It is so interesting to me that just two years ago, I'd never even heard of the name Stratford and today it is a word that I use in everyday conversation. Well, who is he? Where is he from? What does he do? Why is he so significant? So many questions, and so few answers because Stratford is someone who I've never met, and yet I feel as though Ive known him my entire life. The confidence of his existence lies deep within my heart, and it brings a fuel that drives me to make different choices, create new habits, forget past mistakes, and press forward. Although we've never met, his presence is SO REAL to me, and I know that he's thinking of me. I'm praying for him and he's praying for me. I get so excited at the thought of finally getting to see with my eyes what Ive always known in my heart. Ive waited for him my entire life! Not only have I waited with my heart, but Ive waited with my mind, Ive waited with my body! Ive saved my most precious gift, my virginity, just for him. No, it hasn't been easy, and yes temptation lies around every corner but when we meet I want to give him a gift that no other man has had.....all of me. I am choosing to say no to something now, to say yes to something better later. Please join me on my journey as I share with you my day-to-day struggles, triumphs, thoughts and views regarding love, sex, and relationships as I patiently wait for my husband, Stratford.

My love letter to him:

To My Loving Future Husband,
Honey, I already love you unconditionally!!! I am so grateful that God will bring us together, and it will be in the perfect way and in the perfect timing. I think of you often and pray for you all the time. I know that through my prayers you always have the wisdom needed to make the right decisions in every area of your life, including your interactions with other women.  I trust you wholeheartedly to make the right choice, the pure choice.  I am so excited at the opportunity to give you my precious gift one day.  I have had many opportunities to make a different choice, but I always kept you in mind. It makes me feel so good to know that I can give you ALL of me—mind, soul, and body—in the protection of our covenant.  I have been saving myself my entire life for you—and there is no one more deserving than you to experience all of me—even my vulnerabilities.  I know that being with you sexually will be a new experience for me, but I have no fear because I trust you completely.  I’m so happy to give myself completely to you. Thank you so much for being the man that you are—and allowing yourself to be stretched and molded into just what I need. I too, am being shaped and conformed into your perfect puzzle piece.  You can trust me with your vision, desires, and secrets.  I was made to cover even the weakest parts of you………………..Until we meet, know that I’m always covering you in prayer and I’ve always got your back!!!!..........I love you forever!
The woman of your dreams!

Asheia-Patiently Waiting